LAV is all you need.
Several years ago I had a student (we will name him “Jesse”) in my class who was really polite some days and other days he would be very rude and struggle to get along with his peers and staff. Sometimes to the point where he would end up being removed from class due to his physical aggression towards others. At this point I should remind you all that I am a teacher at a wilderness therapy centre for male youth at risk and male youth in open custody.
In the mornings I would walk down the hill from the parking lot to my classroom which was a little log cabin nestled in the forest. Some mornings I would see my students walking to the dining hall for breakfast and I would say good morning. Harmless enough right?
Well I started to see a pattern. On the mornings I said “Hello Osprey” (a generic hello to my whole class as they walked by) Jesse would have behavioural issues in class. On the mornings I said individual hellos to the students who has said hi to me (including Jesse) he was the most behaved and helpful student in the classroom. All it took was a quick hello from me for him to feel noticed, appreciated, respected, you name it I am not sure what emotion he felt but it was more positive then the days I just said a general hello.
It was SO SIMPLE. One quick behaviour adjustment from me helped with my classroom management ten fold. I always start every morning “checking in” seeing how each of my students are doing, how their night went, if they spoke with their families, etc. It only takes about 5-10 minutes but it makes a world of difference. I make sure I ask each student a quick question, I usually have a couple different questions and I ask each of student one of them.
A few years back I took part in training at work and the presenter discussed LAV. It is such a powerful tool if you are working with students, clients, co-workers, or in your personal relationships.
L.A.V. stands for: Listen. Acknowledge. Validate.
I practice LAV daily. It doesn’t take much to listen to others, acknowledge how they are feeling or what they are saying (even if you don’t agree) and validate their feelings (you may not agree with their actions, behaviours or comments but their feelings are real to them). It shows you care and it is a wonderful social skill to role-model.
All you need is LAV.